Self Defense and the Art of Confidence
A T’ai Chi student of mine asked me a question the other day.
“Do you teach self defense?” she asked earnestly.
She was inquiring for a young friend of hers who has been walking the path of transition on their transgender journey and was thus facing some staggering statistics of violence (1).
I paused, considering which conversational path to take. And it’s really had me thinking ever since.
In a world of AK-47’s, projectile weapons, mass shooters, cyber attacks, nuclear war and everything in between …who am I, a 30 year old kung fu student and teacher, to say that I teach self defense?
“Yes, and, no...” I replied.
I don’t want to instill a false sense of confidence within myself or others. Martial artists and other deeply trained professionals can find themselves in a situation they are unprepared for. I also believe in the saying “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” And if I can reduce my or my students’ chances of experiencing harm while boosting confidence on a day to day basis, then thats what I’m going to do! I truly believe that self defense starts from within, and while I may not be able to control outside forces of formidable power, I know can control many things within myself: My posture, my projection, the way I carry myself and use my voice in the world, eye contact, spatial awareness, and various training methods that allow me to know my body and my surroundings are all within my tool box.
While we may not be able to account for several external variables, we can hone in on our capabilities and personal and interpersonal strengths. A large part of being a martial artist is about cultivating sensitivity to surrounding people, the environment, high-risk situations, and knowing when to engage with, pause, or flee conflict. In addition, martial arts training can cultivate self esteem, which can breed higher levels of assertive communication, help a practitioner impose stronger boundaries, and when needed, apply physical de-escalation or, there it is - self defense skills!
Do I train and teach punching, kicking, sweeping, blocking, parrying, and various weapons basics? Hell to the yeah! But what I love most about my training journey and what I’ve seen others accomplish along the way is the improved sense of Self. The confidence that comes from within the body and radiates outwards when a new skill has been unlocked, honed, and refined. I love observing the power that repetition has on the mind, as new pathways are formed and solidified in the brain. I love the character development, watching new students tap into their inner fire that then radiates into their relationships and lives in a positive way. It brings me joy to watch myself and others build boundaries with strong verbal and physical skills.
Disclaimer - There are people that will harm others regardless of strong boundaries and in-depth training. There is no stereotypical victim or perpetrator, and it is NEVER the victims fault when violence occurs.
And remember, context is everything, so don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Cultivate your sense of self, practice the basics of any martial art, keep your head on a swivel, and get quality teachers and mentors to help you along your self defense journey.
Stay safe, stay alert.
Joelle
““When It Comes To Self Defense, It Is Better To Have The Power And Not Need It Than To Need It And Not Have It.””